Farewell Granmole Granholm

Today we bid farewell to Granmole. One of the meatiest moles on the face of Democrat Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm.

Jennifer Granholm was born in Vancouver, British Columbia and soon after she and Granmole welcomed many many more moles, each with his or her own locations, personalities, and dreams of wealth and opportunity. Along with Jennifer, they were honors graduates of both the University of California at Berkeley and Harvard Law School. Later, Granmole had a big part in getting Jennifer elected Michigan’s first female attorney general in 1998.

But there was soon trouble and disappointment. Strife in the life of Granmole Started when Jennifer Granholm was elected governor in 2002, and became even more difficult when re-elected in 2006. Granmole began to get unwanted attention as the Governor became embroiled in scandal and incompetence. Granmole felt the pressure of the flash photography and the news conferences, it brought him into the spotlight and he started to be noticed.

By the time the problem with Kwame Kilpatrick, the once-promising Democratic mayor of Detroit, ended in a tawdry courtroom drama, Granmole had already started a drinking problem. At first it was casual drinking- some 10-0-6 with all the other moles, then he and a small group of moles started to hang out after dark and began abusing Seabreeze and Clearasil. Soon after he was doing 10% Benzoyl Peroxide, Glycolic acid and really hit rock bottom when he got hooked on [TriChloroacetic Acid] TCA. He confessed to a close friend that he was becoming a joke and just wanted to “disappear”.

In 2009, after the government took the reigns of GM, under Jennifer Granholm’s tenure Michigan led the nation in job losses [15.3%], hotel vacancies, exporting of residents, college graduates, growth of taxes, poverty, scandals, home foreclosures and her unashamed failure, whining and taste for Big Government. One morning Granmole looked through his crusty eyes in disbelief at the morning paper:

“Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D-Mich.) is looking to stimulate the local economy by importing prisoners from out-of-state.” That was the last straw. The taunts, the abuse, the embarrassment was too much to take. Quickly he scribbled farewell letters to his many [many] famoley members.

On October 12th, Thanksgiving Day in his native country, Granmole was found by Governor Granholm bleeding on a bed pillow with a can of pressurized gas [air duster] at his side

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